alrity~
damn boring... long weekend....
NBA live the whole day... hahaz....
oh well now let me intro Backstreet Boys new album 2 all of you (This Is Us)
my fav songs in this album are 'fallen angel', 'shattered', 'straight through my heart', 'what i know now', 'masquerade', 'helpless' and 'bigger' bascially most of the song hahaz
cant wait for the album to b out.... ROAR!!!!

well enjoy the new songs!!! =D

and herez the lyrics for 'straight through my heart'

Backstreet Boys- Straight Through My Heart

Ooohhhhhhhh
In the heart
Of the night
When its dark
In the lights
I heard the loudest noise
A gunshot on the floor
Ohhhh Ohhhhh

I looked down
And my shirts turning red
I’m spinning around
Felt her lips on my neck
And her voice in my ear
Like I missed you
want you tonight


Chorus
Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can’t stop the bleeding
Ohhhh
Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can’t believe it
Ohhhh
No I cant resist
And I cant be hit
I just cant escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down (my heart)
Soldier down (my heart)

Thought I moved
More than on
Thought I could
Fool her charm
I really wanna go
But I cant leave her alone
Ohhhh ohhhh

Hear the sound
Of a love so loud
I just can’t, I just can’t
Ignore this feeling
Said she misses me
And she wants me
Wants me tonight

Chorus
Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can’t stop the bleeding
Ohhhh
Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can’t believe it
Ohhhh
No I cant resist
And I cant be hit
I just cant escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down (my heart)
Soldier down (my heart)

In the heart
Of the night
When its dark
In the lights
I heard the loudest noise
A gunshot on the floor

Chorus
Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can’t stop the bleeding
Ohhhh
Straight through my heart (soldier down)
She aimed and she shot me (soldier down)
I just can’t believe it
Ohhhh
No I cant resist (I can’t resit)
And I cant be hit (no I can’t)
I just cant escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down (my heart)
Soldier down (my heart)

Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh
Ohhh

Straight through my heart
Soldier down (my heart)
Soldier down (my heart)

My heart
My
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh

Straight Through My heart
Soldier down (my heart)
Soldier down (my heart)

Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhhhh

私が行方不明です?
なぜかあなたのことを考え続ける?
あなたの香り
あなたのにおい
あなたの声
私の心余韻に保管
なぜこのようにされ?
私と一緒に何か間違っているか?
またはこれは.....
何かを私はすでに、経験豊富な?

ROAR!!! EARLY BOOKOUT!!!
YESH AH!!! finally back in drill squad after a tough fight
however.... i still cant go command sch haiz...
jus a short moment of gd fortune?
oh well suan le should jus enjoy my long~ weekend......

well recently watching this jap basketball drama call
hm.... finally a basketball show for me? hahaz
and y izzit so?
well no.1: my fav sport!!!!!(Basketball)
no.2: main char jersey no. is my lucky no.(8)
no.3: team jersey colour is my fav colour(black)
no.4: team jersey colour oso got my fav basketball team's colour purple(LA Lakers) (so is the colour of my blog now.... -_-)

oh well.... overall i think the show is not bad and is still on going....
oh and i dun mind having their no.8 jersey with my name on it =P

それは終わりのような感じ
の決定
の動機
ないだろう
だけでは行かないことができます
すぐにこの目標を達成してください

FUCK MAN!
FUCK SAF
FUCK NS
NS a fucking waste of time
1st u gav me excuse PT for 1 month
and stole command school, basketball, drill squad from me
and ttz still fucking not enough
now u even stole my fucking weekends from me
telling me wat i hav to go back for RT becos i did not participate in the activities cos i'm not allowed to participate in the fucking activities but i cant fucking do anything for RT due to my states and i hav to fucking stay back every weekend until POP

FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND!?

FUCK YOU NS!

damn you wtf hav i done tt u wanna screw my life so?

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

each time i find something to motivate myself n u gonna jus fucking find something to take my motivation

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck everything man

i dun feel like going on anymore
fuck life
i wanna end this life now

私の携帯に残っている唯一の理由です
しかしばがら......
私は実際には権利があるのですか？

ROAR!!!!
i'm supposed 2 b booking in now....
so y am i blogging here now?
cos.....
realised i got fever when i reached pasir ris... zzz
having headache and soar thoart the past few dayz.....
H1N1? hope not....
oh well.......
time to rest.....

realised tt i'm really a fool
watz the point of trying so hard? pushing myself so hard when i never ever get wat i deserved?
this really sux and is really disappointing
i should jus gav up life and myself long ago
i really hate my life and myself
i'm jus so stupid always pushing myself this hard
but at the end of the day wat do i really get?
jus shitz....
do i really deserve all these?
y r there ppl who dun even put in effort yet get things better than wat they deserve?
this life of mine
i giv up...
giv up this life i tell myself now
i think itz really time to giv it up
and stop this stupid tot of 'as long as i try my best i'm sure gd things will come'
i'm jus cheating myself cos nothing gd will even come
i' born to suffer
i can only experience pain and nothing else
i should jus stop trying so hard
this life? itz the end
the time has come...
the time to giv up myself and this life

ROAR!!!
I GIV UP!!!
FUCK THIS!
FUCK THAT!

THIS WEEK IS FUCKED UP!!!
MY LIFE IS FUCKED UP!!!

FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

ROAR!!!!
booking in in a few hours time...........
haiz wat a long weekend....
in a few hours time.....
the start of my OOT(out of training)-like life in BMT
gonna rot for 1 month
haiz hope no more bad things will happen anymore in BMT
damn my luck

thyz the doc for giving me an mc to go home early to rest.....
but no point when i cant slp.....
felt so lost now....
thyz to my weak body.....
no more being a commander.....
no more drill squad....(no more drill comp)
no more basketball..... (no more basketball team)
suddenly all my goals in NS cant b achived anymore
it seems like i jus suddenly lost everything in a day....

i feel so lose not....
i dunno wat i wanna do anymore
dun feel like going on anymore

tomorrow- do not exist anymore
future- jus a lie
happy endings- jus a comfort
happily ever after- jus a fairy tale

no more purpose....
no more dream....
no more goal....
life has stopped.....

ROAR!!!
early book out this week
so i should hav felt happy?
but i'm not....

SIT test this week
was 'suffering' from some unknown illness
this week i keep geeting exhuasted easily
vomiting and feeling giddy and sweating v heavily jus after a short run
and i endured this through SIT test
where we hav to run and climb...........

the day after SIT which is 2day....
jus a normal 5BX
and i'm almost vomiting when i normally dun even sweat while doing it
guess it was kind of serious?
and i hav being quite a burden to my section and platoon mates
making them worried abt me and helping me even when they r in help.....
i felt so useless......

and so finally i decided to go see MO (medical officer)
even he do not noe watz wrong with me and told me tt highly therez a chance tt there is a problem with my heart and he suddenly asked me 'does ur family history hav someone dying suddenly?'
1st thing in my mind was WTF is wrong with me? will i down pes? will i OOT?
he gav me a excuse PT for 1 month and i tot i was gonna OOT.....
i was refered to CGH for further check up....
ECG.... X-RAY.....
finally the doc say so far there is nothing wrong.......
could be due to low heart rate was my heart rate was v low 2day......
but jus in case... he made an appointment with a heart specalist for me....

and gav me an MC for this week....
haiz long weekend..........
1st time booking out alone (with raven coy actually)....
the feeling sux....

Y? Y does this hav to happen to me?
of all thing?
how much worst can my life get?
now i cant go command sch...
no more physical training....
no more lossing weight
no more IPPT.....

this sux....
sux to the core.....


i'm so sick of this life..........
sick of this body.....
sick of myself.........
i sux........

ROAR!!! WEEK 8 OF NS!!!!
jus finished field camp
more than half of BMT is done

stand 2, high kneel, arti drill, anti- air, 5bx, BIC, machine guns
lots of stuffs had happened during field camp....
tiring....
injuries all over the body
old injuries getting worst
this field camp made me realised how weak i am....
i seriously sux big time
i cant even survive one bloody field camp in a piece....
ending up with my whole upper body and hands weak and numb from my back injury
this sux.....

ROAR!!!!!
hate this body of mine...........
damn it all
and balls to me



SIT test is next.... haiz... hope i will pass it...
hope my back will not get worst again....
therez still many many more to go.....
the endless road of life